I had a serious case of the blue balls, so I hopped in my car and drove around in search of a sex worker. Lucky for me, there was one in my neighborhood! And here I thought I had to drive all the way to downtown for a streetwalker. Today must be my day. Her name was Rachel. I asked her if she was working, and she said, “a little bit”, whatever the fuck that means. How much for a blowjob, I inquired. Ho said $200. The fuck!? No, you’ll have to do better than that. She dropped her price down to $150 which was still a little high, I know, but I was willing to pay a premium for convenience. And she was really cute, too. She jumped in my car and we drove around to a secluded spot where she wasted no time going down on me. My little peanut grew 400% inside her warm mouth.